This contains many actual quotes (in italics) from a single pile of young women’s magazines I found in an ex-girlfriend’s bathroom.
Every woman’s magazine,
every front cover,
takes its theme
from the woman’s dream
to be a better lover.
And every woman’s magazine –
New Woman, Best,
Vogue, Zest –
completely obsessed
with achieving better sex.
Every woman’s magazine
blazoned across their fronts
words that stir insecurity
’bout the size of hips
and tits and bums.
Every woman’s magazine
sells its ideals,
aggressively asserts
the feared fact
that she is too fat.
In every woman’s magazine
two words will stand out,
words with which girls
become obsessed –
the words fat and sex
Fat
and sex.
Fat
and sex.
Completely obsessed
with fat and sex.
It’s the fat sex, the fat sex,
the fat sex appeal.
Every woman’s magazine
tells females that read it
to have your cake and eat it.
Half the calories, twice the size,
Get your regular exercise
for great boobs and tight bums.
Here comes another one –
another man in your thighs,
great sex with no ties.
Yes, every woman’s magazine,
completely obsessed with fat and sex.
It’s the fat sex, the fat sex,
the fat sex appeal.
And more sex!
And best sex!
Because this…
This is New Woman.
The monsters the magazines created.
Every New Woman
is saggy, wrinkly, blotchy.
Every New Woman
needs the guide to perfect skin.
Every New Woman
needs great boobs and tight bums,
the secret of an easy orgasm –
needs flesh,
obsessed with flesh.
With make-up kits and fashion tips,
health and beauty dieting,
blokes and cooking,
boils down to fat and sex.
Better sex this Saturday,
look like a babe when you feel like a blob,
dump the diet, drop the pounds.
Are there any men around?
For fat sex, the fat sex,
the fat sex appeal.
And good sex,
and better sex,
and more sex,
more sex,
more sex!
Oh Oh Oh – Oh-gasmic.
She knows:
The scientific guide to coming like a train!
The scientific guide to coming like a train!!
Again and again and again and again!!!
Every woman’s magazine
craves commercial success,
and caters for the craving
of woman and her sex.
And every woman’s magazine
creates that craving,
and I just think it’s time that they stopped misbehaving.
If women get obsessed completely with sex,
men already are,
so then there’s nothing left.